Squid Ink

I have to admit to finding things hard at the moment. The only way I can describe it is that a light has gone out from inside of me.

That’s a bit poetic even for me!

I’m trying to convince myself that those lenses at the bottom of my ranking list will, at some point, have their day and they will pick up in traffic some day. But, I have to admit to feeling a little disheartened (yet again!) about the whole promotion thing.

I think it doesn’t help that of the lens ideas I have had recently, none of them have come off. Even the goals I have set for this year are not doing very well. There is so much I know I need to do with regards to my own career but yet have done nothing.

On a plus note, I have been given a an early birthday present, a PDA from my partner, C. It means I can now read e-books and pdf files on the go which will make my reviewing of those books a lot easier to do. All I need to do now is get the damn thing connected to the Internet. (Excuse me a minute while I get hold of my GP to to find out my results of my vitamin B12 count…) Ok, that’s arranged.

I know I need to do so much work with regards to my lenses (updates, promotion etc.) but I’ve run out of motivation completely.

I’m struggling with forums again. I can’t seem to get it into my head that I don’t need to respond to every question that is asked of me. I get into these little tight spots where I feel I’m being judged about my actions and before I know it, I’ve gone off the idea of interacting on that forum completely. In fact, social networking is a bit of a let down for me at the moment (not Squidoo, I hasten to add.) Friends that who you thought were ‘friends’ but turn out to be leechers or those who want you to jump at their every word and if you don’t, for whatever reason, you are not considered their friend.

Do I, somehow, have a twisted view of what a friend should be? Is that why I’m always alone? Or, do I set my standards way too high?

Who knows…